Surviving Shame

What is shame?

Shame is the lowest vibrational energy of any human emotion. It sits beneath guilt, beneath anger, beneath embarrassment. That’s what makes it so destructive — it’s not just an emotion; it’s an energetic weight that can crush self-worth if left unchecked.

The difference between shame and other emotions is this: shame is usually inflicted upon you.

It’s not a feeling that naturally belongs to you — it’s something put on you by another person or group, usually someone weaker who needs to feel powerful.

That’s what makes shame a form of psychological abuse.

When you feel shame, it’s often because a piece of your vulnerability — something tender, private, or sacred — has been exposed and exploited. Someone uses that vulnerability as a lever, a weapon, a way to manipulate how you act or think.

And here’s the truth: only weak people do that.

It’s a tactic of control, a favorite of narcissists, abusers, and insecure power-holders.

When you finally reach clarity, you can see the tactic for what it is — a disgusting game — and the shame you once carried loses its power over you.

Recognizing the Red Flag

Any person — whether an employer, friend, spouse, family member, or organization — who tries to psychologically bully you into feeling shame is waving a red flag you can’t afford to ignore.

If you don’t recognize it early, you risk internalizing their manipulation. That’s when shame becomes poison — when you start believing their narrative instead of your truth.

Unaddressed, that kind of shame can quietly destroy your confidence, emotional balance, and mental well-being.

A couple of people I once allowed into my inner circle tried this tactic with me. It didn’t get them far.

They were removed from my life — immediately — and, over time, revealed themselves for who they truly were: narcissistic bullies.

The S.A.D. Method™

Through this experience, I created something meaningful from the pain — a curriculum I call Surviving Shame (S.A.D. Method™).

The irony isn’t lost on me; I sometimes wish the acronym sounded happier, maybe something like “W.I.N.” — but I couldn’t find a W-word exercise that fit! lol

Still, S.A.D. is perfect in its own way because it reflects the truth: surviving shame begins by acknowledging sadness, not hiding from it. Healing starts with honesty.

Walking Beside You...

There were people in my life who tried desperately to use my most vulnerable moments against me — all to position themselves above me.

They failed.

Weakness will never survive the strength of clarity.

Manipulation cannot withstand the force of truth.

And professional bullying will never triumph over integrity.

If someone tries to make you feel small for being human, that’s not your shame to carry — it’s theirs.

Your only job is to recognize the tactic, reclaim your power, and walk away without apology.